INTENSIVE COUPLES THERAPY — FAQs
When an hour of couples therapy doesn’t feel like enough.
Answers to the questions couples most often ask about intensive couples therapy and couples therapy retreats in Ireland.
A different way to make time for the relationship that matters.
Frequently Asked Questions — Intensive Couples Therapy & Couples Therapy Retreats
What is intensive couples therapy?
Intensive couples therapy is a way of doing couples therapy in longer, more concentrated blocks rather than meeting for a conventional 50- or 60-minute session each week.
I offer extended three-hour sessions as well as one-day and two-day couples therapy intensives. My two-day intensive is the most substantial format and gives one couple dedicated therapeutic time to understand what has happened in their relationship, identify the patterns keeping them stuck and begin working towards meaningful change.
For couples in considerable distress, having uninterrupted time can allow us to work very differently from conventional weekly couples counselling.
What is a couples therapy retreat?
The term couples therapy retreat is often used to describe an extended period of focused relationship work where a couple steps away from everyday life and dedicates significant time to their relationship.
My approach is primarily intensive couples therapy rather than a conventional wellness or romantic couples retreat. The emphasis is on specialist therapeutic work with one couple at a time.
Couples often travel to Galway and stay locally, which naturally creates some of the space associated with a retreat. However, the purpose of the intensive is not a relaxing weekend away. It is to create enough protected time to work seriously with the relationship.
Is a couples therapy retreat the same as intensive couples therapy?
The terms overlap, but they aren’t always used to mean exactly the same thing.
Some couples retreats focus on workshops, relationship education, relaxation or group activities. My work is private clinical couples therapy. You are not attending with a group of other couples and there is no generic retreat programme.
When people search for a couples therapy retreat in Ireland, what they are often looking for is precisely this: somewhere they can go together and spend considerably more than an hour working intensively on a relationship that matters to them.
Why choose a two-day couples therapy intensive instead of weekly couples counselling?
Weekly couples therapy works well for many people. However, there are circumstances where an hour at a time can feel frustratingly limited.
You may spend much of the session explaining what happened during the week. Just as you reach the heart of something important, the session ends. A week passes, another argument happens, and the next appointment begins with another immediate problem.
A two-day intensive gives us substantially more continuity. We can slow things down, understand the wider relationship rather than only the latest crisis, work with difficult conversations and have time to return to important issues rather than repeatedly stopping because the hour is over.
Who is intensive couples therapy for?
I primarily work with couples whose relationships have become distressed, complex or difficult to shift.
That includes couples experiencing high conflict or repeated arguments; affairs and betrayal; emotional or sexual disconnection; powerful relationship triggers; difficulties involving ADHD or autism; longstanding resentment; communication breakdown; and couples who are uncertain about whether their relationship can continue.
I also frequently work with couples who have already attended couples counselling but feel that they remain stuck.
Is intensive couples therapy suitable for couples on the brink of separation?
Yes. A significant part of my work involves couples who are approaching separation or who genuinely don’t know whether their relationship will survive.
Sometimes one partner is still strongly committed to saving the relationship while the other is much less certain. Sometimes both people want the relationship to work but no longer know how to make it work.
You do not need to arrive already agreeing that the relationship must be saved. The first task is to understand what has happened between you, what remains, what would need to change and whether there is a realistic route forward.
Can intensive couples therapy help if one of us is considering leaving?
Potentially. It is quite common for partners to arrive in different places emotionally.
One person may be searching desperately for a way to repair the relationship while the other has become exhausted, detached or uncertain. I don’t require both people to pretend to have the same level of hope.
What is important is that both partners are willing to engage honestly in the process.
We are in a relationship crisis. Can we come for intensive couples therapy quickly?
Relationship crises are one of the reasons couples seek intensive work.
An affair may just have been discovered. Separation may suddenly be on the table. Someone may be considering moving out, or a couple may feel that they have reached a point where something needs to happen relatively quickly.
Availability varies, but intensive therapy can be particularly useful when a relationship problem feels time-sensitive because it creates a substantial block of therapeutic time rather than spreading the work across many weeks.
Can intensive couples therapy help after an affair?
Affairs and betrayal are a significant part of my couples work.
After an affair is discovered, couples can become caught between an urgent need to understand what happened and an equally urgent need to know whether the relationship has a future. The betrayed partner may have questions, intrusive thoughts and powerful emotional triggers. The other partner may experience shame, defensiveness or become overwhelmed by repeatedly returning to what happened.
Affair recovery involves honesty, accountability, understanding the impact of the betrayal and gradually rebuilding sufficient emotional and relational safety. Intensive therapy gives us time to begin working with these different layers without trying to compress everything into a single hour.
Can you help us if we keep having the same argument over and over?
Yes. Repetitive conflict is one of the most common reasons couples come to therapy.
The apparent subject may change—money, sex, children, household responsibilities, family, work or phones—but the emotional pattern underneath can remain remarkably consistent.
Part of our work is identifying that recurring cycle. Rather than simply deciding who was right in the latest argument, we look at what happens between you, what each person experiences and how each partner’s response inadvertently contributes to what happens next.
What if we don't argue but have become emotionally disconnected?
Not all distressed relationships are high-conflict.
Some couples function extremely well on the surface. You may manage children, careers, finances and a home together while privately feeling increasingly like housemates or co-parents rather than partners.
Emotional disconnection, loss of affection, diminished intimacy and the sense that you no longer really know one another can all be appropriate reasons to seek intensive couples therapy.
Can intensive couples therapy help with sex and intimacy problems?
Sex and intimacy difficulties frequently form part of the wider couples work.
There may be differences in sexual desire, a long period without sex, feelings of rejection or pressure, or a loss of affection and physical closeness. Sometimes sexual distance is connected with resentment, betrayal, stress, parenthood, trauma or emotional disconnection elsewhere in the relationship.
Where a difficulty requires specialist medical or psychosexual treatment, I may recommend additional support rather than assuming that couples therapy alone is the appropriate intervention.
Do you work with autistic and ADHD couples?
Yes. Neurodiverse relationships are an important part of my specialist couples work.
I work with couples where one or both partners are autistic, have ADHD or identify as otherwise neurodivergent. Differences involving communication, emotional processing, executive functioning, sensory needs, attention and the need for predictability can become deeply intertwined with the couple’s relationship pattern.
The objective isn’t to make a neurodivergent partner more neurotypical. It is to help both people understand the relationship more accurately and develop ways of responding that work for the two people actually in it.
Is your couples therapy trauma-informed?
Yes. My work is trauma-informed, and I am also an EMDR practitioner.
Earlier experiences of abandonment, criticism, neglect, betrayal or trauma can sometimes become strongly activated within intimate relationships. Current relationship trauma—particularly affairs and betrayal—can also create powerful emotional triggers.
That does not mean I assume every relationship difficulty is caused by trauma. The relationship itself remains at the centre of the work. Where trauma is meaningfully contributing to what happens between you, however, it is important that the therapy can recognise and work with that.
Do you use EMDR during couples therapy intensives?
EMDR can sometimes form part of my couples therapy work where a particular trauma, distressing memory or powerful emotional trigger is significantly affecting the relationship.
I don’t automatically use EMDR with couples, and an intensive isn’t simply two days of trauma processing. Whether EMDR is appropriate depends on assessment, emotional stability, safety, the nature of the trauma and what we are trying to accomplish within the couples work.
In some circumstances, I may instead recommend individual trauma therapy with a separate therapist alongside our work together.
What happens during a two-day couples therapy intensive?
There is no identical programme that I apply to every couple.
We begin by developing a detailed understanding of your relationship: what has brought you to therapy, your history together, the difficulties you are experiencing, what happens during conflict and what each person needs from the work.
From there, we identify the patterns that are keeping the relationship stuck and begin working directly with them. Depending on the couple, this might involve conflict, communication, betrayal, attachment, emotional connection, intimacy, trauma, neurodivergence or decisions about the future of the relationship.
The advantage of two days is not simply that we do “more therapy”. It is that we have enough time to go deeper without repeatedly having to stop and restart.
Will we spend the entire two days talking about our problems?
No. Understanding what has gone wrong is important, but an intensive should not become two days of analysing everything that is wrong with the relationship.
The work also involves helping you experience conversations differently, identify moments where the usual pattern can be interrupted and begin developing practical ways of responding differently after you leave.
There are also breaks during the day. Intensive does not mean relentless.
Do you see us together for the whole intensive?
The relationship is the primary client and most of the work is undertaken together.
Depending on the circumstances, there may be occasions where brief individual conversations are therapeutically useful. How the intensive is structured is determined by the needs of the couple rather than applying an identical timetable to everyone.
Is two days really enough to fix a relationship?
I wouldn’t describe any two-day therapy as a guaranteed way to “fix” a relationship.
Relationships are more complicated than that, particularly when difficulties have developed over many years.
What two days can provide is a substantial period of focused therapeutic work. Couples can sometimes achieve a level of understanding, clarity and movement that would be difficult to reach in a small number of conventional sessions.
What happens afterwards matters too. The intensive should create something that you can continue to work with in your everyday relationship.
What happens after a couples therapy intensive?
That depends on the couple.
Some couples use the intensive as a substantial standalone intervention and then put what they have learned into practice. Others benefit from follow-up sessions or further focused work.
I don’t automatically place couples into indefinite weekly therapy following an intensive. We can decide what, if anything, would be useful afterwards based on where the relationship is at the end of our work.
What if we have tried couples counselling before and it didn't work?
This is very common among couples who contact me.
Previous therapy may have helped you understand the relationship but not changed what happens at home. Perhaps sessions repeatedly focused on the latest argument, or you felt that an hour wasn’t enough time to reach the more difficult material.
Previous couples therapy not creating the change you hoped for does not automatically mean that further therapy cannot help. Sometimes a different therapist, a different model or a more concentrated format allows the work to develop differently.
Is intensive couples therapy more effective than weekly couples counselling?
Neither format is inherently right for every couple.
Weekly therapy provides continuity over time and can be an excellent format. Intensive therapy provides depth, concentration and uninterrupted time.
My practice has increasingly moved towards extended and intensive couples therapy because I specialise in relationships where the difficulties are often complex, entrenched or time-sensitive. For these couples, longer sessions can offer therapeutic possibilities that are difficult to create within a conventional hour.
Is intensive couples therapy suitable if we aren't in crisis?
Yes. You do not have to wait until your relationship is on the brink of separation.
Some couples recognise that a pattern has been developing for years and want to address it before the relationship deteriorates further. Others want focused work around intimacy, communication, parenting, a life transition or an important decision.
The intensity refers to the format and concentration of the work, not necessarily to how bad your relationship has become.
Is intensive couples therapy the same as marriage counselling?
There is considerable overlap in how people use terms such as couples therapy, couples counselling, marriage counselling and relationship therapy.
I use the term couples therapy because I work with married and unmarried couples and because my work is therapeutic rather than simply advisory.
An intensive couples therapy format takes that work and provides it in longer, concentrated sessions rather than conventional weekly appointments.
Do we have to be married to attend a couples therapy retreat or intensive?
No.
I work with married and unmarried couples. What matters is the relationship and the difficulties you are trying to address, not your legal marital status.
Is your couples therapy retreat residential?
No. I provide the therapeutic component rather than accommodation.
Couples travelling for a one- or two-day intensive arrange their own accommodation locally. For couples coming from elsewhere in Ireland or internationally, staying nearby can be useful because it removes some of the demands of everyday life while you focus on the relationship.
Where in Ireland do you offer intensive couples therapy?
My practice is based in Moycullen, County Galway, in the west of Ireland.
Couples travel to me from Galway and across Ireland for extended and multi-day work. I also work with couples travelling from the UK, continental Europe and further afield.
Do couples travel from Dublin for a two-day couples therapy intensive?
Yes. The format is particularly suitable for couples who do not live locally because the work is concentrated into one or two days rather than requiring weekly travel to Galway.
Couples travelling from Dublin or elsewhere in Ireland can arrange accommodation locally and treat the time as a dedicated period away from their normal routine to focus on the relationship.
Do you work with couples from the UK and Europe?
Yes.
Although Ireland is the primary base of my practice, couples travel to work with me from the UK, Europe and further afield.
For couples considering travelling to Ireland specifically for an intensive, an initial consultation allows us to establish whether the format is appropriate before making travel arrangements.
Can we travel to Ireland specifically for a couples therapy intensive?
Yes. Couples can travel to Galway specifically for a one- or two-day intensive.
This can work particularly well for people who want a substantial piece of relationship work but live somewhere where specialist intensive couples therapy is difficult to find.
I recommend having an initial consultation before booking flights or accommodation so that we can determine whether I am the right therapist and whether an intensive is the appropriate format for your circumstances.
Do you offer intensive couples therapy online?
No. I don’t offer intensive couples therapy online.
For me, bringing a couple together into a dedicated therapeutic space and stepping away from the distractions and routines of everyday life is an important part of the intensive process. Attempting to reproduce a full one- or two-day intensive through a screen misses an important part of what this way of working is designed to provide.
Couples therefore attend intensive couples therapy with me in person at my practice in Moycullen, Galway.
How do we know whether a three-hour, one-day or two-day intensive is right for us?
It depends on the complexity of what is happening and what you want from the work.
A three-hour session can be useful when a couple wants more space than a conventional appointment but does not require a full-day intervention. A one-day intensive allows considerably more depth. A two-day intensive gives us the greatest amount of time to understand entrenched patterns and work with several interconnected aspects of the relationship.
We can discuss which format is most appropriate during your initial consultation.
Are there circumstances where intensive couples therapy is not appropriate?
Yes.
An intensive format is not appropriate simply because a couple wants rapid change. Safety and stability matter.
There are circumstances where couples therapy itself may need to be postponed or modified—for example, where there is active domestic abuse or coercive control, significant unmanaged addiction, an acute mental-health crisis or another issue that makes conjoint therapeutic work unsafe or clinically inappropriate.
Assessment is therefore an important part of deciding whether to proceed.
What if only one of us thinks there is a problem?
That is not unusual.
Couples frequently arrive with very different explanations for what has gone wrong and very different levels of urgency about addressing it.
You don’t need to agree about the cause of the problem before coming. In fact, understanding those different realities is often part of the work. Both people do, however, need to be willing to participate meaningfully in the therapeutic process.
Will you tell us whether we should stay together or separate?
No.
My role is not to make that decision for you.
Where a couple is uncertain about the future, therapy can help you understand the relationship more clearly: what has happened, what would need to change, what each person is willing to do and whether there is enough remaining to build upon.
The decision about the future of the relationship ultimately belongs to the two of you.
How much does an intensive couples therapy retreat in Ireland cost?
Fees vary according to the format of the work, including extended sessions, one-day intensives and two-day intensive couples therapy.
Current fees are listed on my Fees page, where you can find the relevant fee for each format before deciding whether you would like to arrange an initial consultation.
How do we book a couples therapy intensive in Galway?
The first step is to book an initial consultation.
This gives me an opportunity to understand what is happening in your relationship, what you are hoping to achieve and whether intensive couples therapy is likely to be an appropriate fit.
If we decide to proceed, we can then discuss the appropriate format and arrange the intensive.
We don't know whether we need couples counselling, an intensive or a couples retreat. Where do we start?
You don’t need to work that out before contacting me.
Many people find my practice precisely because they know that an hour of couples counselling doesn’t feel like enough, but they don’t yet know what alternative they are looking for.
Start by telling me what is happening in the relationship. We can decide from there whether an extended session, a one-day intensive, a two-day intensive or another form of support makes the most sense.